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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Valentine's Day 2012

I am sitting here in the chair where this whole nightmare started, almost five days ago to the minute. I had gotten home from work around three on Tuesday and Brian was asleep downstairs. He didn't get to bed till noon so I was just planning to let him sleep. We had promised not to get each other anything for Valentine's Day since we went out last Saturday night, but on the counter was a box of chocolates from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory and a card. I had a card for him hidden in the bedroom. Last year, we moved on Valentine's Day so in his card he wrote, "Hope this Valentine's Day is better than the previous one," that sentence has turned out to be one of life's greatest ironies for me.

We had tickets to go to the Peoria Symphony Orchestra's Valentine's Day show, but I knew how tired he was so I didn't wake him up for it. He got up around 8:30 and I gave him his card. We talked a little and he was going to take a shower and get ready for work.  I asked him to give me one last long hug because I was going to miss him at work and so he did.  I was writing note cards for a class and he went back to check his email before his shower.

Suddenly, I heard a big crash and I just hollered thinking he had dropped something.  He didn't respond so I got up and ran into the bedroom.  I saw him on the floor having a seizure.  He was convulsing and his mouth was bleeding. His shoulder was at an awkward angle and I thought it was dislocated. His eyes were dilated and his lips were blue and he had a cut on his arm and a bruise on his temple. I tried to get him to respond for a second and then told him I was going to call 911, I couldn't find his phone so I rand as fast as I could back to the living room and dialed mine. The adrenaline that was coursing through my body gave me an immediate and acute clarity of mind. I was speaking with the dispatcher who told me to roll him to his side which I did. I then remembered that Brian's mom had a flashing security porch light. I left Brian and ran to unlock the front door and turn it on. Jack was losing it at this point so I put him in the bedroom and shut the door. Then, I just held my husband and waited for what must only have been ten minutes or so, but felt like an eternity. A sheriff's deputy came first, followed by the ambulance.

A couple times, Brian jolted awake and was very afraid. He was asking what happened and he didn't know who I was. When the paramedics got there, he started to wake up. They asked him his name and how old he was. He said he was 18, and they asked if he was sure and he said yes.  After making him see The Vow with me just Saturday, you can imagine I was afraid he had just lost 11 years of memory.  He couldn't tell them who I was at that point either. They loaded him in the ambulance and I took off after them.

I called Brian's boss and my mom and dad who met me at the hospital.  Once we got into the emergency room, Brian was sitting up alert in the bed.  He remembered who I was and we started putting together the puzzle of what had happened.  He went back for a CT and we just said a prayer of thanks that we were home when this happened and that Brian wasn't in the shower, or driving a car, or at work.  The first of so many things we are grateful for. 

The CT results came back and showed a mass, but we wouldn't know more until an MRI.  They said it could be just an infection that had penetrated the sinuses, or it could be some kind of tumor.  We would have an MRI in the morning and Brian was being admitted.

My mom went home with me to get some things for Brian and I took a really fast shower. We came right back to his room and the waiting began. I can't remember much of that first night, but my mind was reeling from what we had been told. I thought he had an allergic reaction or something, or he was exhausted.

Wednesday morning came and went. We didn't have and MRI, but we did meet Dr. Tsung, a brain surgeon. A very good one. He said we wouldn't know for sure until surgery, but an MRI would show us more of what we were looking at, but from what he could tell, this was more than likely a brain tumor that he hoped would be totally benign because of Brian's age and health. Bill came to give Brian a blessing which was a relief. We waited for the MRI all day long and I spent most of the day calling family to let them know what was going on, and finally I went home to try to sleep in the evening.  Even though my dad stayed with Brian, I couldn't really sleep and kept waking up so mom and I got up at 2:30am and came back to the hospital.

They had finally come for Brian's MRI at 8:00pm just a couple hours after I left that night and Dr. Tsung came in at 8:30am Thursday with his nurse practitioner to talk about it. He still thought it was a brain tumor. Probably some sort of glioma

They let me go back with Brian to pre-op and I stayed with him for around and hour. Then they took him back and I went to wait.  Hospital time is strange because it feels like forever, but then you can't believe the clock shows that its so late. I think he must have come out around 3:30 or something but I can't remember. Dr. Tsung came and got me and told me that he is pretty sure its a glioma, but we don't know the cell type or grade yet. The initial pathology looks low grade, but the bad news is that this kind of tumor always comes back and when it does its always worse.  We won't know any more until the pathology comes back sometime this week, and even more when the chromosomal analysis is back in a few weeks, but it could be two years, or it could be ten years before we see it again. Brian spent most of the night in recovery because they didn't even have a room for him on the floor.  Luckily, they finally let me see him. And they even let his mom and dad come back.  Also, Bishop Pincock and Bill came and along with Brian's dad they gave me a blessing of comfort.  My dad came for that and I was so completely grateful that he was there.

Needless to say, that was very scary news for us, but nothing is certain yet. The nurse told me that once I saw him after surgery, I would be relieved. I couldn't believe her because I didn't get the news I wanted about the tumor. I wanted it to be totally benign, but she was right. I was so overwhelmed with relief when I saw him.

The nurse said Brian was out of it so we should all get some sleep at home. It was hard to leave but I slept about five hours that night and then got up Friday and went to talk to my professors at school. When I got back to the hospital, Brian was up and alert. Sore and tired, but he looked good to me. As the day went on he got more and more swollen. I was upset because that night they moved us to a room right across from where we were on Wednesday and it wasn't a private room.  There was a sweet old guy who had had a stroke in there, but he was snoring and coughing loudly all night. I stayed with Brian that night and I was so glad to see my friend Maria from school was Brian's tech.  She was an answer to our prayers and took great care of him all night. 

Saturday we got up and I helped Brian and our neighbor order breakfast. The physical therapist came in and ran her battery of tests which Brian passed with flying colors.  Then Dr. Tsung came in and said that two days post op would be the earliest anyone was allowed to go home, but if Brian felt up to it he could. Of course he wanted to and so Dr. Tsung got the paper work started.  At about one it was time to leave so we packed up and came home.

My parents came over early and cleaned the house up really nice for me. And my sister and her boyfriend have been taking care of all of my chocolate and soda needs. She gets all of the cute stuff like balloons and flowers too. The rest of Saturday was just settling in. Brian was resting and I was making charts to keep track of his medicines. 

Today, he is a little more swollen but getting good rest and not too much pain. This is all I have the energy for tonight, but I will keep updating on his status.

I am so grateful for all the help and prayers and calls and visitors. I can't express my gratitude.  I also want to say that I know that our Heavenly Father is aware of us and has a plan. I can't tell you how much of a comfort that has been to us already. I am seeing answered prayers everywhere I look. Sometimes in very unique places.

More to come.

Lindsey

4 comments:

  1. Wow, Lindsey. I'm glad you did this blog. I caught glimpses of what was going on from Facebook, but I definitely was not understanding everything you have been going through. Good luck with the recovery. Let me know if there's some way I can help. I know that's a trite phrase, but I mean it. I'm available during the day most days.

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  2. Thanks for the update. You've been through a lot! We'll keep praying for both of you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

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  3. Hope Brian's headache is better. Wishing you both a good night's sleep. Love you, Mama

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  4. Lindsey -- love to you and Brian! I was shocked to hear about this all happening over the weekend. If one thing is for sure, you will have a lot to celebrate next Valetine's! :) I love you and am praying for you all the way over here in Indiana!

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