Feeling "Weak in the Heart"

I hope you will take just three and a half minutes of your day to watch this short message. I watched it for the first time in November.  Some of these messages truly speak to my heart. I remember seeing this one and thinking it was nice, but it was one that really didn't apply to me. I had faith and I just knew that if anything tragic or terrible happened to me that my faith would lift me up and carry me right through it.

Just three short months later, my world crumbled when we found out my sweet Brian was sick. Since then I have been humbled. I try my very hardest to cling to my faith, but I would be lying if I said I didn't have days when I felt angry, afraid, hysterical, and completely lost.

I was talking to my mom on my way home from work today like I do most days, and we were talking a little bit about faith and the observable differences it can make in your life.  I love being able to talk about faith with my mom. We may not agree on everything, but our similarities are far more numerous than our differences and it is such a great comfort to me to be able to share those intimate thoughts with her.

I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the way it has transformed my life. I shudder to imagine the despair I would feel if it weren't for the eternal perspective I choose to see life through.  I have answers to quietly nagging questions I had for a long time. Knowing that we are on this Earth to learn and grow from our trials doesn't make them any easier for us, but it gives me a reason to endure. And the sure knowledge that Brian and I can be always together is a comfort to me in my darkest times.

When I got home today, I was looking for a video I wanted to show my mom and I found this one again. I watched it and could barely hold back the tears. NOW, I need it. Now it speaks directly to my heart. I was grateful to run across this message again and I think it is worth remembering that we are not expected to be perfect, just to improve.

"To the individual who is weak in the heart, fearful in the heart...be patient with yourself. Perfection comes, not in this life, but in the next life. Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you through that, He will make the difference."

~Elder Russell. M. Nelson~

Love, Lindsey