Summer Recap!

Here we are in mid October and I realized I never even did Part II of our anniversary celebration! In all of my worrying, I sometimes forget to "love life and see good days" (1 Peter 3:10), but we had some really fun times this summer. Since I am short on time, I thought I would do a quick photo recap of the summer!

 

We spent our anniverary in Chicago in July. We went to the Field Museum and then to our favorite Brazilian restaurant for a really awesome dinner.

 

Then, in August we had a great party for our friend Marcus from church. It was his birthday and he told me that he had never had a real birthday party!!! Can you believe it?! Obviously, I couldn't let that continue. So with the help of our friend Bob, and the missionaries, we threw Marcus a grand party! We had a cookout, and I made a pie and a cake!! It was so fun to see how excited Marcus was, but I really think I was more excited!

 

In August Brian's sister Adrianne and her sweet family came to visit, and last month Brian's mom and sister were here. It was a great opportunity to squeeze in some family time in between school, work, and treatments.

 

 

This was our anniversary dessert! We had already eaten an obscene amount of meat when they brought this out to us! And we ate it. ALL.

Me with our cake. It was bigger than my head.

Mmmmmm...Fogo de chao

Getting ready for our feast. Marcus and one of his many talents.

Mmmmmm....

Chris (Marc's mom), me, Elder Brinkerhoff, and Bob

Happy Birthday Marc!!

Lighting the candles!

More candles!

I was obvioulsy the most excited!

Peace!

Banana Cream Pie

Brian and Marcus

Us with Marc

Us again, with Bob

This is what Brian looked like when his hair first started falling out. It fell out a lot more.

Me and Aaron post meltdown.

My neices and nephews are practically the only kids that like me, so I take all the snuggles I can get.

And Jack. He is spoiled. I love him.



Ooops, I did it again

This was a stressful week. Radiation is the main culprit, but school is also busy. At work we are getting ready to go live with a new electronic medical records system and I am trying to single-handedly get that ready for our little satellite office. This would be okay, except that its a big change, and nobody likes change.

 

Today we woke up early and Brian had a headache and a lot of cleaning he wanted to get done. I got up and did things like dishes and folded laundry, and he tackled the big stuff like bathrooms. Brian isn't the most organized person clutter-wise, but he hates when things are dirty. Like when you sweep the bathroom floor every two days and there is a small animal sized pile of curly auburn strands on the floor. He is very particular about his cleaning methods. And to be fair, I hate most chores like laundry and dishes, so I just do them quickly to get them done. For example, I am not a fan of sorting laundry. When I lived alone, I usually just (GASP!) threw it all in together to save money not doing multiple loads and it worked out just fine for me. Brian has a method to every task. I don't do much of his laundry besides throwing our whites in together because he has certain rules about certain articles of clothing. Without fail when I try to help, I always end up drying something that shouldn't have been tried or washing something with something it shouldn't have been washed with by mistake. When we first got married, I was actually looking forward to washing our clothes together. Silly, I know. I wanted to do his laundry and take care of household chores for him. But after a couple episodes where I shrunk clothes he had kept perfect for 10 years, I decided maybe we could just each take care of our own clothes. 

 

I don't even want to talk about dishes. I really never considered that there were multiple ways to do the dishes, but Brian and I disagree on the best way to do them. I like to use a dish rack. I wash the dishes and drain them in the rack and then IF I feel like it when I am done, I dry them and put them away. Otherwise, I let them air dry and put them away later. Brian likes to wash and dry them as he goes with no dish rack involved. He thinks it is cumbersome and gets in the way of the garbage disposal and rinsing, which I admit is true. Brian's way is to wash and rinse a few dishes at a time and then dry and put them away as he goes. So if you have a dinner full of dishes, I feel like this takes longer. After our perspective shift this year, I decided that I didn't want dishes to be a big deal in my marriage so I gave up doing them the fast, efficient, and just as clean way my way, and now I exclusively do them the tedious, painstaking way Brian's way.

 

Brian did most of the cleaning today while I was at the computer getting my church stuff ready for tomorrow and working on homework. I feel bad that he did so much of it. I felt so bad that I decided we deserved a little treat. Then I kept looking at these blondies again. The picture isn't mine, but mine turned out true to the picture except that I used only chocolate chips in mine instead of butterscotch ones. These turned out so well last weekend when I made them and I have been fantasizing about them all week. I'm not kidding. It's serious. I think I found my Danger Food. I am actually a little concerned about it. I can smell them right now, as a matter of fact, and I haven't even gone to the store to get the butter yet.

 

Fall is on its way as evidenced by this gorgeous weather. I should be practicing pie crust and peeling apples. Brian likes apple pie more. A better wife wouldn't be so selfish with her desserts. Brian didn't eat very many blondies last week. Probably because when he went to sleep I ate half of the pan myself. He said he was full and he liked them just fine, but I do long for the day when we find a dessert so mutually satisfying that I don't have to feel guilty for picking one I know I like more, or settling for one that I don't like as much.

 

But for tonight, I am being selfish. I woke up knowing these blondies were happening today and I can't fight it anymore, I'm not that innocent.

 

 

Today is my Birthday

Well, I turned 28 today. It looks stranger reading it than it even did saying it all day. I don't feel much older than 20. I guess that is how it works. I was lucky enough to celebrate with my family in Henry on Saturday. It was my parents, sister, brother-in-law, Brian of course, and my dear sweet friend Joe, who might as well be family. My cake was huge. It was a chocolate-fudge-filled-chocolate-cake-with-chocolate-fudge-icing. I have never met a chocolate cake I couldn't handle, but this one was ALMOST too much! Also, I got a haircut from Amy and I just love her so much. She did a great job as always, and I was proud because I didn't even cry while I was filling her in on our last few months. When I got up to pay, she wouldn't let me. Then I started crying. I am just so grateful to have good friends. I am so inspired to be a better friend every day because I really don't even know where I would be without the loving kindness of my truest friends. This experience has really helped me to sort out who my true friends are and I am happy to report that I am so blessed to have so very many.

I have to admit, this is a really sad birthday for me.  I just don't feel like myself.  When I blew out my candles I made a silly wish for Brian to be cancer free. I know it is a childlike thing to do, but I know those wishes can come true. The years Brian and I were apart, I would always wish we could find our way back to each other and we eventually did.

As sad as I feel some days, I am very much overcome with gratitude for the blessings of friendship which surround me.

Usually, I am really overcome on my birthday with how many people send kind regards for the day. Just to know so many people are thinking about me always comes as sort of a surprise.  But this year, I wasn't surprised at all. Ever since Brian has been sick I have been so overcome by the out pouring of love and support that has been shown to us. I simply don't have the words to express how very grateful I am for all of the ways we have been shown love today and always. The prayers, calls, texts, cards, gifts, hugs, listening ears, and shoulders to cry on have all sustained me.

I spent most of tonight working on my anniversary present to Brian, which is a secret since he reads this, but I can't wait to show him. We did get to go out to Johnny's for dinner with a gift card from my family. Thanks mom, you are off the hook this time!

I am tired and have a big day tomorrow, but please know that I wouldn't be where I am today, right now, without my dear friends.

Love, Lindsey

This week in baking!

I have found that not only am I a stress eater, I am a stress baker. I like the straightforwardness of it. You follow the recipe, and the outcome is more or less what you expect. At least that is how it usually goes.  Today I guess my stress level impaired my ability to read a recipe all the way through. I found a really good looking recipe for cinnamon pull apart bread , but somehow I missed the part about the dough needing to be refrigerated for a few hours up to 24 hours. I didn't have time for that. Brian was going to help Grandpa Branch hang up a swing and I really wanted them to be done for him to have breakfast and take some over to share.

Not wanting to get discouraged too early, I decided to try to make it with another cinnamon roll dough recipe that I use all the time. The dough came out alright, but then I messed up the recipe again and I cut the dough it all wrong. I really just wasn't reading well this morning. I tried putting it in the loaf pan and it just wasn't working. There wasn't enough dough and the strips weren't fitting right. With tears in my eyes, I started doing some positive affirmations that went something like this:

 "Wait a minute! You are a baker wife! You have all this perfect cinnamon roll dough (even though it is all cut up), and you can fix this!"

So I pulled out a muffin tin and rolled up those little mistake pieces of buttery, cinnamon and sugar goodness and let them rise and bake. I could just as easily pitch them after I saw how they turned out. Luckily for me, and one of the only good things that happened today, they turned out okay. Brian ate two and Matt came upstairs and grabbed three before disappearing back to bed. Here is what the finished product looked like.

I actually kind of made up this recipe! It could use a little perfecting, but a facebook friend gave them a name that I love! "Cinnamon Runt Cakes!" SO PERFECTLY CUTE!

Last week, on Friday night, I made cinnamon swirl bread and then I used it to make french toast for the boys on Saturday morning. It killed us all! It was so heavy, but good. They each ate three whole pieces, my two thin ones sent me back to bed for a mid-morning nap!

Then this week we were having pasta one night so I made these cheesy garlic bread swirls .  I need to branch out and do more than bread, but coming back to the stress relief thing, I really do like to just get in there and knead it. So therapeutic. And the boys are really benefitting from all this stress baking!

They were so perfectly soft inside!

That was our week in baking. In other news, I had to finally break down and call a patient advocate for all the trouble we are having with Brian's neurology office. Thanks to a sweet friend from high school, I was able to get in touch with the right people and they were very kind and sympathetic, not to mention disgusted with the issues we are having, but that is a different post and I have not cooled down sufficiently to tackle that one. Also, remember the awesome scholarship I received?  Well, ICC decided that I have too many credit hours from an associate's degree I earned eight years ago (and paid for with no financial aid whatsoever), and so my scholarship is terminated pending a painstaking appeal process that I have to get started first thing Tuesday morning. Way to stress me out on a holiday weekend. But that is also for another post. I'm saving it up for the next "bump" in the road of which I honestly feel like we have had our fair share of in just shy of two years of marriage.

Have a good and safe holiday weekend friends!

Love, Lindsey

Chemo, stress, and (dog) cookies

My name is Lindsey and I am stress eater. I have gained about five pounds in the almost two months since Brian was in the hospital. Its funny because my eating inversely correlates with my stress level. The more stressed I am, the less I eat. On my mild to moderate stress days, I eat my feelings. When I am extremely stressed, I lose my appetite.

All this had me thinking about my poor, sweet, neurotic Jack.  He is stressed too. I know he can sense the tension in the house from my nerves. I feel bad for him because he doesn't get to eat all the comfort food we do. So, to remedy that, I found a recipe for homemade dog cookies! I spent a couple hours today making yummy and cute cookies all for Jack, except for the ones he shared with his dog friends. The recipe was really easy, just a little all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, vegetable oil, water, and PEANUT BUTTER!!! which made them smell so good that I actually ate one. They basically turned out like you would imagine an eggless, butterless, sugarless peanut butter cookie, but they were fabulous and much appreciated by my faithful companion (the canine one).

As for my other one, Brian started chemo on Monday and is finishing up month one tonight. We are so grateful for the minimal side effects! He takes an anti-nausea medicine first and then the three chemo pills. Those smell and taste nasty. Then we go to bed so he really hasn't been sick to his stomach at all. He does have a headache from it, and he has had a KILLER back ache for two days straight. If it persists over the weekend I am calling the doctor Monday, but I haven't seen that symptom listed in the literature anywhere so hopefully its just a pulled muscle.

More to come tomorrow! We are heading up to Chicago to see the CSO. My family got us tickets for Christmas and I am glad we can still go!

Here are some pictures of Jack with his cookies.

I don't know if you can read the angst on this face.

A very patient boy. 

Love, Lindsey

Welcome Spring!

My very favorite time of year is autumn. It always has been. I love the colors and the smells and the way the sunlight looks just a little different from the rest of the year. It has a sort of warmish amber glow as it filters through the red, orange, and yellow leaves which is different from the crystalline starkness that it has in the winter, or the mellow haziness of summer. I can't, however, escape the melancholy I always feel as the leaves fall and the season draws to a close.

This year has been a little different. I am loving spring more than I ever have. Maybe its because I have been thinking a lot about hope and faith lately. Spring is full of hope. Full of new beginnings. My favorite sign of spring comes when the lovely birds burst into song and break the quiet stillness of winter. I always hear people complain about the noise they make so early in the morning, but I can't wait for those first few weeks when you really appreciate and notice their sounds before they become routine for the summer.

I haven't posted in awhile. I meant to, but we have just been outside almost everyday trying to soak up this gorgeous weather and enjoy ourselves. So here is a little update.

My sister had a birthday on March 15th. My mom and dad both had to work so Brian, Alissa, Jake, and I went to starved rock and had a really nice hike. I was afraid Brian would be really tired because he had been the previous few days, but he had a burst of energy we attributed to the great weather, and actually, Liss and Jake got tired before us! We had mexican for lunch and were underwhelmed. I think we were there at an off time because the service was stinky, but then we bargain hunted at Big Lots and came home and hung out for a little bit.

Saturday, we went up and had a cookout at my parents house with my cousin Andre, and our good friend Joe. That was fun. My mom made her macaroni salad and my dad's burgers were great so I was in Heaven.

We have been taking Jack for walks everyday. Sometimes two. He loves it. And our sweet lady next door Dorothy gave us a bouquet of beautiful sunny yellow daffodils! I tried and tried to get a picture of them, but it just paled in comparison to real life so much that I couldn't bear to post it.

Midterms were this week at school. With the time I missed and the studying I did NOT do last month, my anatomy grade is now a high C. I can definitely bring it back up to at least a B though. And I was accepted into ICC's nursing program! I almost forgot about that. For the sake of finance and continuity, I decided to just finish up my RN there. Then I can work on a bridge program for my BSN hopefully at OSF. I only have eight classes left and I am anxious to get that part of school done.

On Thursday, we met my mom for lunch. It was nice to see her a little extra this week. Thursday and Friday both felt like Saturdays to me. Brian and I went to Famous Daves last night for fish. We didn't plan on it, it just kind of happened and I don't regret it. Tonight, our first real Saturday of the week, we are making Rick Bayless at home and watching Star Wars. All we have been doing is watching sci-fi all week and I love it.

The oatmeal bread I just baked has been tried and approved by Brian. I love baking bread. I love the whole process of making it from scratch. It feels good. You just start with these plain raw ingredients and then combine them just the right way, and then you have to really knead it. It is tough and it takes time to get to the right consistency. Then you have to be very patient and wait and wait while it rises. Then let it rest, then shape it into a loaf and wait some more while it rises again. Its such a painstaking process and when it turns out well its just so rewarding. And I love Brian's reaction. He was almost incredulous the first time I made it for him. I make it often, but each time he responds with the same joy. He loves it. I love what I am coming to recognize as the "hot bread smile." I wait for it and I am never disappointed. There is a parallel to life in there somewhere. But this entry is long enough.

Some pictures from the last couple weeks.

Birthday Duck Face

Lissa in her new sunglasses (birthday present from me!)

Jack friend.

At this moment we were getting ready to leave. He was devastated.

Today's oatmeal bread. You can get a peek of Dorothy's daffodils next to Franz in the background :)

Freshly baked, sliced and enjoyed!

Enjoy the weather everyone and don't forget to look up! Its better than looking down.

Love,

Lindsey